Dear Phil,
Why do you hate Halloween so much?
Steve F.
Bed-Stuy
Stevesy,
Because it is the most annoying night of the year. (Note: Gay Pride Day is a day, not a night.) If I wanted to wade through a sea of white trash chicks dressed in sexy cat costumes, I'd go to my stepmom's house. Thanks for writing!
Warmly,
Phil
Dear Phil,
That's so gay...anywhere you go there will be slutty girls looking to get laid. They don't even care, they just want you to play the game.
Steve F.
Bed-Stuy
Bed-Stuy
Steve-o,
What is this game you speak of? Please tell me it involves a belt and a lime wedge.
Fondly,
Phil
Dear Phil,
You're fine at playing the game, you're just not willing to do it...for example, not going to parties with chicks because you "don't like Halloween"? Halloween's awesome! It's the last day of the year that chicks willingly wear only their underwear. They just want you to put yourself out there in the same way they did. That's literally it. You could wear Groucho Marx glasses and still be knee-deep in it.
Steve F.
Bed-Stuy
Stevarino,
No offense, but you're coming off a little gay here. Maybe wait until you get home before you start rubbing one out, huh? Thanks for reading!
Best,
Phil
Be sure to submit questions for the next edition of Blog!!!!!!1!1!!!!!!! Mailbag! Thanks for reading!
2 comments:
Publishing the innerworkings of private emails does not constitute as a mailbag. Plus, you're a homo for not liking halloween. I cry tears of joy whenever chicks decide to wear a Princess Leah bikini, or a catwoman outfit. I think you hate hot chicks. I'm not saying your gay, you just hate hot chicks.
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